How to Write a Better Book in 5 Easy Steps

Ok so these might not be the traditional definition of 'easy' and the 'better' is subjective but hey ho, let's see what they are anyway! I've read a lot of manuscripts from aspiring authors and, with few exceptions, the same few little niggles crop up time and again. I've even seen these pet peeves in published novels, for example, Twilight is littered with them. I do believe it should be renamed 'The How-To Guide for Writing a Crap Novel'. I am in-between massive edits at the moment so I have a spare few minutes to cyber-scribble my thoughts on this subject.

I love writing, I've been doing it since I was a child and have barely stopped to take a breath. For the past, probably 20 years, I've been reading 'how to write' books, blogs, magazines, as well as taking writing classes, novel critiquing classes, etc. etc. All that aside, I firmly believe the best way to learn about how to write is to just do it, to forget the rules and get that wordbaby onto paper. The 5 Easy Steps come in after you've done that. After you've had a celebratory jump up and down, tweeted about it, called your mum, and had one or six stiff drinks, the hard work comes in. So here it is -

1. READ YOUR BOOK! I can't stress this enough, all the exclamation points in the world couldn't stress this enough. I know it's like trudging through estuary mud but you have to do it, you just have to, don't argue. Set aside the red pen, don't look for mistakes, don't correct typos, don't do anything like that, just read it. Also set aside all prior knowledge of this story. Read it like a real person would. Read it to enjoy it. You may have created a spectacular fantasy world full of woamdsnursxxx11's and gold-plated snafflybeuftters but if you are using a bunch of invented words and concepts, make sure you explain them enough. If on your read through you come across things you wouldn't understand without the 400-page planning document then make a note of it and change it later.
2. Do a search for how many times you have used the following phrases - 'he/she said [followed by adverb]', 'he/she sighed', 'he/she curled her lip', 'his/her [hair, eyes, whatever] was the colour of'. If, in a 80k manuscript it's more than a handful, seriously consider changing them. They are common, overused tropes that deserve a spot in the Pit. In dialogue, however, these are okay but in the body of the text, they should be avoided and flagged up with neon lights and claxons as Cliche. There are plenty of ways to say 'she curled her lip in a smile and sighed as he said seductively, 'your eyes are the colour of the deepest ocean'. Bleugh. So find another way of saying it and save us all from the horror of having to read lines like that. 
3. Adverbs. I think I'm going to try to get my hatred of adverbs into every blog post, so far so good. Delete them. Just hit delete, the world and your writing will be better for it. They are abhorrent and should not be tolerated except under very specific circumstances. They are lazy writing. It's just easy to say 'he laughed loudly and irritated those around him' than 'his booming laugh irritated those around him'. The second sentence gives a lot more information than the first and has irradicated the adverb. [Disclaimer - I know I use adverbs in this blog but blogging is more like dialogue than prose. Adverbs are fine in dialogue. I don't use adverbs in my writing unless I have no other option].
4. Long sentences. I've come across this issue a lot recently. I've read sentences comprised of 60+ words, a handful of conjunctions, clauses, and a meandering subject that just gets lost. This ties into the first point, read your book, that's what you want other people to do so make sure they can get through a sentence and keep the meaning intact. When you read back and feel the natural pause (usually after the first conjunction) just put a full stop and reword the rest. I promise you this will make your narrative much easier to read. 
5. Cliches and obvious descriptions. This is also, I suppose, about similes and metaphors. I'm predominantly a metaphor person but a well-placed and well-written simile can be just as effective. Go through your manuscript and make a note of how many similes you use. How many are to describe a character (his eyes were like emeralds, her blonde hair shone like the sun, his legs were thick like tree trunks, etc.)? If it's a lot, and if you have used any of those, change them. There is very little worse in a novel  than reading a cliched description of a character or setting. Inject a little originality, imagination, and the unexpected into your descriptions. Use metaphors instead of similes, they are more powerful. Don't always go with the first description that comes to mind. If, for example, your instinct is to say 'he was eating his cake like a pig' to describe a messy eater, then ignore your instinct and try to think of another way to say the same thing, 'the cake disappeared into his slobbering maw, one packed handful after another'. Don't be afraid to use a few extra words to get the point across. 

So those are my Top 5 tips for better writing but I think the most important is number 1. You have to put yourself in the mindset of a reader picking this up in a bookshop (if, of course, that is your ambition). Think about when you go to a bookshop, do you go for really hefty 800 page books or slim 2-300 page volumes? If the latter then don't write a 200k word novel. Think about the book you would want to read, write it, then read it. You will find a million mistakes but once they are all corrected you will have something you can be very proud of.